About Sense and Nonsense of Life
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"if the soul wants to perceive its nature, it must look into a soul"
It's really weird. Sometimes I think I'm interpreting to much into events/phenomena, but sometimes they seem all to clear...[*laugh*]... the seduction scene with Joan Severance in the movie "Payback"... the backyard kissing scene with Holly Hunter and Elias Koteas in that movie with Danny De Vito and Queen Latifah... nothing but a projection of what is going on inside of me... of what was created/transformed... and it isn't even a question of who or what was first there (because distinction is separating violently that which isn't distinct; because the sense of time is making a fool of us)...
It isn't even about intuition... intuition can be the same an obstacle as rational thought...
"...just when it began...he took your love away..." -- george michael
Well, that's it... I guess this is the end of my uchi deshi experience. I stated my purpose after morning class. I did it in a state of calmness (which I didn't expect) and urged him in a plain sentence to not consider me as a personal pupil anymore. His response was calm and plain, too, according to that of a true teacher...
Yet another death, yet another birth. The japanese kanji for death -shin- ,I put as a logo on my handy a few months ago, seems to have foreseen this big change...
"Thoughts are like a wild monkey"
The flue I got during the last two weeks(!) (that's a new personal record) really left me down. I am somewhat disoriented with no real motivation/passion/whatever for anything or anyone (I think "pathetic" fits fine in here).
I hope that little monkey named "thoughts" in my head won't get to hyperactive during this physical and psychological downtime of mine...
"Want to live forever?"
Watched the movie "Starship Troopers" on DVD at Senad's place. I constantly had a taste of Blizzard's "Starcraft" and Origin's "Wing Commander" during the whole movie in my mind. In one scene there even was a strong "Conan the Barbarian" stimulation (yep, Valerian's infamous "do you want to live forever?"-quote). A mighty phrase... it implies more than just courage or the typical samurai-attitude of being prepared to die at any moment...
Another interesting pure coincidence is the (un)frequent use of the kotegaeshi technique in non Steven Seagal movies. One appears in "Starship Troopers" executed by the Drill-Instructor finishing it of with an arm fracture (the scene has a horrible cut though). Another one I noticed in the movie "Blade" (I watched recently also) executed by Wesley Snipes right in the first fighting scene in the disco (a regular throw).