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the yellow origami-rose
Yes!... Finally!... I folded yesterday the beautiful "Kawasaki-Rose"...
...that task kept me busy the last few weeks and really got me mad and desperate at times... I already had a (yet another) very discouraging failure yesterday (I got me some useful hints on folding the Kawasaki-Rose from the net) round midnight... for some reason I started yet another attempt and finally figured out the final crucial "3D-foldings". I finished that lovely peace of art round 2:00pm very delighted. In fact I improvised a stem and some leaves out of green crepe-paper I happened to have available and assembled a complete yellow rose (which was immediately given away; but that is another story)... all those past folding-failures have been worth it and were justified in the end...
"get serious!..."
...yes, Sensei's "get serious!"-advice...
...the romania-weekend was very interesting... I somewhat had a different kind of attentiveness this time... outer form expresses inner attitude... it was very interesting to see this apply in many phenomena, circumstances and people...
...I finally managed to get up fast from seiza after a looong siting and waiting period of time, ruining my right foot-joint's strings (interesting sound BTW) on Saturday... it was about time for some (with a correct attitude) suffering and learning...
...young Klaus seemed to me very quick learning, attentive and also well considering and critical... he grasped quiet a few things surprisingly fast...
...the departure was very pleasant (if we overlook that expensive wrong-departure_date-ticket-story)... I was rather exhausted and not really attentive at that time so I didn't see come the warm hugging&kissing farewell which overwhelmed me...
...back at Munich-airport a powerful "extended blink of an eye" incidence took place... lucky me had and felt the magic again...
nothing is what it seems...
... that's why i'm trying not to interpret anything in anything...
...i'm a sorry excuse for mankind these days... i'm avoiding trouble and work wherever i can... i cannot enjoy listening to music... i leave things unfinished... and there aren't even short-timed tasks i perform completely concentrated (in fact there is no concentration at all)... everything i do is bad in the beginning, bad in the middle and bad in the end... no balance, no center, no awareness, no effort, no will, no fight, no emotion, no responsibility, no compassion, nothing...
a rose for a rose...
...[*sigh*]... the "rose-assault-thing" was an utter failure... I guess my timing was horrible (much to late), my faith weak...
...it was the only pink rose there (all others were red and yellow), well hidden in a corner of the whole building-complex behind some bushes...it was leaning over, almost lying... I noticed it on wednesday noon and knew immediately it was *no* coincidence [*grin*] and knew what has to be done [*yet another grin*]... what I didn't know... no wait...I mean what I screwed up is: I hesitated... I hesitated big time... [fade-motion to the friday dawn-scene with me and a swiss knife in my hand] as I gently cut the rose almost all petals fell to the ground... Aaaaarrrrggghhhhhh!... sheer horror, dude... I just didn't believe this... can you believe this?... I must have been crouching there for at least 5 minutes in front of my doom before recovering... I picked up the petals and went up, still shocked... some silly ideas for an alternate usage of the petals instead of the rose crossed my mind, all of them useless (none of them ideas came "out of nothing")... thank god "the shock" wore off and the petals found their destiny in the soil of one of "my" plants in my office... to my very suprise I noticed on the same evening the petals shrinked and already almost completely decayed... it was good...
...another notable thing taking place on friday:
...on the afternoon I went buying some supplies from the near store... as I entered the back-entrance elevator completely clear-minded (or out of space, if you prefer) a weak scent of something with definite traces of nicotine attracted my nose and in the same instant the word "Barbara" flashed in my mind... so my conscience returned back to planet earth and asked "What did you say? Barbara's been recently in this elevator? O.k., let me check..."... I asked Barbara whether she just had her "open-air" cigarette-break and she confirmed it... that rose-story in the morning must have inspired and improved in a subtle manner my scent-recognizing-abilities somehow [*laugh*]...